Birth and Death

Check these pics of my littlest sister, Laura's, baby in her belly.
Has ultra sound gotten better in the last 6 years, because I don't remember ever being able to make out so much detail in my children's scans?

Truly awesome and amazing.

So from a baby growing that doesn't yet know where it is or what's happening to, it to my five year old son getting out of bed the other night suddenly realizing his mortality. He says, 'I don't want to be in this life! I'll have to feel it when I die!'. What can you say? It's just a game Jude. We never really die, just this 'crude matter' (Yoda), passes on.

I remember when I first became aware of my mortality and it felt like a great big scary dark thing looming up in front of me, inevitable as, well, death! But what is death really? How much of I will survive? I used to have epileptic attacks as a youngster. All the neurons in my brain would fire off in a chain reaction that would shut off my brain for a brief time. One second I would be here, 'in this life' as Jude put it, the next I am not. There is no me. No time. But there is awareness. Then all of a sudden I am back in this life, in a different position physically, a different moment in time and everyone has gathered around me. And you know what, the peace and relaxation after an event like that was always deep. The dialogue had shut up.

I've lost my fear of death. I still fear the pain that may be involved but what's to fear in death? The ultimate release of all worries and concerns. No me to deal with!